The Inbetween of Happy and Sad

The time spent at home isolating during COVID19 has meant my overthinking brain has had plenty of time to do just that, overthink.

Overthink about my kids, about relationships and friendships, about money, you name it, I’ve overthought about it.

Which led me to start having a good look in to the idea of being happy and what exactly that means. Is it normal to expect to be happy at all times. It certainly feels nice, but is it achievable?

The answer is, absolutely not. It is not realistic or possible to be happy 24/7. When I say happy, I mean the real feel good stuff. Happy, excited, a nice kick of endorphins etc etc.

Which then led me to my next question, is the space in between happy automatically sadness or what is that middle ground actually called? Is it boredom, is it overthinking, what is it?

Basically, my brain visualises this…..

Happy { _______________________What is this part called?_________________________} Sad

My automatic reaction to not feeling overwhelmingly happy is that something must be wrong. But if I keep thinking that through to the end point, no it doesn’t mean that at all. What it means is, I need to learn how to sit in that middle space of not overwhelmingly happy with new and exciting things occurring, but also not automatically presume that means sadness.

So to figure out exactly what the inbetween space is, I went to the professionals and spoke to a psychologist here at WHWS and what she said really has bought me to a nice calm place of thinking about it all. Does that place in between need to be thought of as boredom, or is it actually contentment?

We are living in a world of quick, fast, busy and rushed. There are comparisons at every corner with social media and that really is leading to us having almost a feeling of guilt at the idea of doing nothing. But perhaps that middle space is where the good stuff happens.

Sitting in contentment could mean, watching a sun set. Joining in playing with the kids. A great conversation with a friend. A warm cup of tea and a good book. Nothing earth shattering, but also definitely not sadness.

Rather than seeing that space and automatically thinking “I need to fill that with tasks” I am going to try and shift my mindset to, “this is the time I get to really sink in to the life I have created for myself and just sit with that, no more no less. Just because it isn’t new, fast paced and go, go, go, it doesn’t mean it isn’t wonderful”

I think we all have learnt from COVID19 that sitting with someone we care about and having a good chat is something we have taken for granted before. So maybe that ties in to that middle space of contentment.

Who knows, but I know that’s what I am going to try. Contentment, it sounds good to me.